Stressed out about my wedding advice please!?
I am really stressed out about everything, who to invite, what venue to have it at, etc. I called a few churches that I wanted to have it at (and was going to join their church) and they were so rude and unkind that I really don’t even want to have it in a church and then we were thinking about having it on the beach because his grandpa lives by the Chesapeake Bay and then I was worried about the breeze from the bay blowing sand and the cost of renting out tents, tables, etc. I feel like I am compromising on the wedding I wanted because I cannot afford it, a Maymont wedding is too expensive, so is the Carillon at Dogwood Dell and the prettier churches want to charge too much (the ones that will marry you without being a member are about $400-$500). I would prefer an outside wedding, can anyone give me some ideas? I live in the west end of Richmond, but would willing to travel to a nice, but affordable venue (under $300). The church we have decided on is marrying us only because his parents are members, but it really wasn’t what I envisioned, I wanted pews and stained glass windows, this church is modern and has chairs so I can’t really decorate it. As for the invitations my Mom was getting everyone’s address to send out invitations for my bridal shower but then my aunt said to put her daughter and daughter in law’s names on her invite because she thinks that they should be invited. They did invite me to their weddings but I didn’t go because we never even talk to them anymore so I feel like I am doing it to pacify her and I only wanted to invite people that I actually am still in contact with and I wanted it to be small (80 people or less) and his brother is upset because he was not asked to be the best man…In my wedding I am getting my Mom to give me away, I am having a junior bridesmaid and a ring bearer and that is all. He asked his best friend because it is his best friend and his brother has a way of showing up to family functions in a bad mood because of something that happened earlier in the day to him and being in a bad mood for the rest of the day. Ugh I am so stressed out about it and we are going to talk to him about his attitude and if he is in a bad mood then to stay home and I hate it that people feel that they have to go out and buy new clothes for this occasion (and my fiance’s parents would have to buy clothes for themselves and his brother and SIL), I told them to just wear what they have. My cousins I haven’t seen in over 10 years and they have children I have never met, you never hear from them unless they want money and they never come to any of our family functions.
Also, if anyone knows of an inexpensive rental for a tent, chairs and tables in the Chesapeake Bay area let me know!
Thanks for the kind answers everyone and yes I am really stressed out, not just over the wedding. There is a lot more going on with me than I will include in this and it is a bit overwhelming to me.
I agree, I was thinking about a wedding consultant but did not do it because of the cost, I was trying to have a nice, but not overly expensive wedding and we are going to the Bay to see if that venue will work for us this weekend weather permitting.
I agree, I think that I should just invite those that I would really even send a regular card to, and that would not include my cousins or a lot of my aunts and yes people are trying to make my wedding into theirs and I hate it.
As for the wedding/bridal magazines I will check them out and I like the idea of the binder to keep everything in order.
Personally I didn’t want to invite his brother at all since he is known to have a bad attitude but I feel like I "should" since his children are part of the wedding and he is "family":/
First…Breath! lol
When is the wedding? How long do you have to plan all this? Unless its next month, then you should have plenty of time.
Location – I think the bay by your grandpas sounds best. It sounds lovely, and probably least expensive. Call around for costs of chairs, tables etc, and find the lowest price. Mine is costing me $0.75 a chair, and $5 a table. I’m in Arizona though, so I’m not sure how much it will be there.
As for the chairs instead of pews. I agree its not as "pretty" but its all about what you make of it. Here are some very lovely ways to decorate chairs (and can be affordable if your doing it yourself)
- http://aweddingforme.com/yahoo_site_admin/assets/images/garden-wedding-chairs.155192002_std.jpg
-http://www.wcghotels.com/images/pics/cvgba-wedding-chairs1-500.jpg
-http://www.agradeevents.com.au/images/garden-wedding-chairs-flowe.jpg
Invites – Make a "sample" list. Then also list who you wouldn’t be inviting. If its 10+ people, don’t invite them. If you only leaving out under 10, what is it really going to hurt to throw the invite out there? I read on yahoo once to think of invites this way "Would you send them a birthday card"…whatever your answer is for that questions is also the answer about sending them an invite. And don’t worry, people will get over it. There is always something else that will come up more exciting later and draw their attention away.
Family Drama – Your wedding, ignore you future brother in law. He might be fussy now, and he’ll probably be fussy at the wedding. If he’s known to be a grouch, just expect that. I wouldn’t really go telling him not to show up, that might make matters worse.
New clothes – Its their money, who cares. Let them buy what they want. lol
Good luck! Take this one step at a time. And remember its your wedding. Granted you might feel like your compromising because of a budget, but having a dream wedding doesn’t always mean a hefty price tag.
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I didn’t read all of that, its way too long, to many run on sentences, and its all in one big paragraph, you go from one thing to another….
your WAY over thinking everything, settle down, take a deeeeep breath, make yourself up a wedding binder and starting looking through magazines, check out a bunch of reception and ceremony options, put them in your binder, and decide to break down everything in sections, deal with one item at a time.
Start with your venues. That’s my suggestion.
Seriously though, breath, wedding planning is suppose to be fun, and if your already overwhelmed, your bitting off more then you can chew, slow it down, take a good look at whats important right this very second, worry about guest lists later, you might find a venue that only can accommodate 50 people, so dont confirm anyone just yet and dont rule out anyone just yet either, take it step by step.
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it sounds like it is just too much for you. how about a very small wedding in your home and they a small party later/
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Wow your waayyy stressed out. First u need to remember it is both of your weddings..no one Else’s( not ur mom, the brothers or aunties) You will have to start NOW telling people what u want bc if u waver now it will get more stressful later. A lot of reception places have an area u can get married in so look for that if you don’t like the church. Another thing u might want to consider is a planer…I know it will be another eexpensebut u seem like a person who might need one. If you give them a bbudgetthey can help you find eexactlywhat u want with in that price and they know how to deal with all the iissues
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I agree with Max F, learn to use the enter key! Way too long to read, sound likes youre a silly little child to be honest
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Just relax. Take a deep breath, and give yourself one day where you do nothing but relax. No wedding stuff. I had to do that plenty of times.
What I did was get a binder and some of those clear paper protectors. I found stacks of bridal magazines and tore out pages. I kept them in the binder in the the page protectors so they wouldn’t rip and I could flip through that like a magazine. Keep a small notebook and pen with you always, write down anything you think of or see while you’re out and about. I also kept a legal pad in my binder, to write stuff down when I went to the coordinator. Make a list of everything that you need to take care of from most to least importance, and then take each thing and start writing stuff. Questions you have, ideas, phone numbers for people, recommendations you get.
It helps keep you organized, and looking through bridal magazines all day takes your mind off of worrying about every other little detail.
Look for venues first, and go from there.
Getting married is very stressful. There seems to be someone in my family getting married every year or so, so I know how stressed you must be.
But, like I said, when things got out of hand, I just stopped, I put everything down, I cried and laughed and went for walks. Or just went outside to sit down.
Give yourself a break. I know you’re getting married, but it doesn’t have to be all wedding every day all day.
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First…Breath! lol
When is the wedding? How long do you have to plan all this? Unless its next month, then you should have plenty of time.
Location – I think the bay by your grandpas sounds best. It sounds lovely, and probably least expensive. Call around for costs of chairs, tables etc, and find the lowest price. Mine is costing me $0.75 a chair, and $5 a table. I’m in Arizona though, so I’m not sure how much it will be there.
As for the chairs instead of pews. I agree its not as "pretty" but its all about what you make of it. Here are some very lovely ways to decorate chairs (and can be affordable if your doing it yourself)
- http://aweddingforme.com/yahoo_site_admin/assets/images/garden-wedding-chairs.155192002_std.jpg
-http://www.wcghotels.com/images/pics/cvgba-wedding-chairs1-500.jpg
-http://www.agradeevents.com.au/images/garden-wedding-chairs-flowe.jpg
Invites – Make a "sample" list. Then also list who you wouldn’t be inviting. If its 10+ people, don’t invite them. If you only leaving out under 10, what is it really going to hurt to throw the invite out there? I read on yahoo once to think of invites this way "Would you send them a birthday card"…whatever your answer is for that questions is also the answer about sending them an invite. And don’t worry, people will get over it. There is always something else that will come up more exciting later and draw their attention away.
Family Drama – Your wedding, ignore you future brother in law. He might be fussy now, and he’ll probably be fussy at the wedding. If he’s known to be a grouch, just expect that. I wouldn’t really go telling him not to show up, that might make matters worse.
New clothes – Its their money, who cares. Let them buy what they want. lol
Good luck! Take this one step at a time. And remember its your wedding. Granted you might feel like your compromising because of a budget, but having a dream wedding doesn’t always mean a hefty price tag.
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*Good idea Brandons wife about the binder
You need to slowwww down honey.
And I am a laid back person usually!
I have just done the whole wedding thing last year and know how it can get on top of you but let me tell you right now that being so sick due to stress that you can barely move is even less fun
Take one step at a time and stay focused. Other people will sort themselves out, you and your fiance just need to sit down and decide what you would like this very special day to mean and look like to you both.
BTW, outside weddings are so much nicer, in my biased opinion.
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Married 8.5 months!
Forget about the church – its not worth the stress and $. Can you do a simple destination wedding like outer banks of NC? or VA beach? An outdoor wedding will be so nice. That way you can invite all the people that you are being pressured to invite and they probably won’t show but you’ll get a gift anyway. Doesn’t hurt to invite. Probably at least 40% won’t show if you have to travel more than 4hrs. You don’t have to spend time with the bad mood guy – there’s going to plenty of other things to focus on.
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